Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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