The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Randomize
