After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
