we have officially lost it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
