well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
