But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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