i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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