there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i dont even know how to be here
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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