i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
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i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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