I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
3pm strippers are depressing
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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