i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
