Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
