So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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