i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
