This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
