Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
