I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
