Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize