The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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