But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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