so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
