At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
