I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
