Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
