her vagine was all disorganized.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
What a dumb baby whore.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
