You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
