I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize