so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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