Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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