We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
