Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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