He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
