ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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