As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
