You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
People in love make me want to vomit
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
