I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
