You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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