JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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