Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
