yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
