I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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