u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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