dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
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He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
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I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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