when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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