You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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