I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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