doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
