haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype