Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
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I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
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All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.