she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?