fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers