apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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