its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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