that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
