yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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