I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
