Need sex. Gaining weight.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
