To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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