Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
