So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just gift wrapped bread.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
