I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
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hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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