One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
