Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
