i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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