beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
